i am no longer stressing out of my mind.
feel free to bother me as you will.
but don't expect a christmas present.
**all aforementioned offers of friendliness and chummy comradorary are dependent on a continued baseline level of stress inducing events.
all potential and suggested get-togethers are subject to the laws and statutes of the land and are subject to change without further/future/any notice.
all offers are conditional and are only valid until january
cause after that it all starts again and i have a feeling i'm gonna be even more crotchety than i was before.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
the mints are on the house.
dear people who are bothering me,
i have exams and papers out the wazoo and i would appreciate it if you left me alone.
if you haven't noticed, i am "off limits 'til decemeber" and "too busy for you".
i am not being coy.
i am serious.
i'd advise you to get off my back.
i am very small, alors there is not enough room on it for all of you.
if you "geesh" me one more time i WILL put milk in your tea.
that is not a threat.
i will post when i am good and ready.
i will send you pictures when i have the time.
i cannot go to the movies.
i will only have coffee with you if bring it to me in the library.
DON'T EVEN ASK ME ABOUT CLUBBING.
friendly salutations are always welcome but if you keep nagging me i will hurt you.
thank you to everyone who has not bothered me in this time of stress.
however, if you are:
either in france or korea;
somewhere other than right here, or;
in need of some serious help
i will make time to talk to you if you need me
-just as long as you do not mention blogging, because then i will be forced to kill you too.
thank you for your time. have a nice day. please take a mint on your way out.
the. end.
i have exams and papers out the wazoo and i would appreciate it if you left me alone.
if you haven't noticed, i am "off limits 'til decemeber" and "too busy for you".
i am not being coy.
i am serious.
i'd advise you to get off my back.
i am very small, alors there is not enough room on it for all of you.
if you "geesh" me one more time i WILL put milk in your tea.
that is not a threat.
i will post when i am good and ready.
i will send you pictures when i have the time.
i cannot go to the movies.
i will only have coffee with you if bring it to me in the library.
DON'T EVEN ASK ME ABOUT CLUBBING.
friendly salutations are always welcome but if you keep nagging me i will hurt you.
thank you to everyone who has not bothered me in this time of stress.
however, if you are:
either in france or korea;
somewhere other than right here, or;
in need of some serious help
i will make time to talk to you if you need me
-just as long as you do not mention blogging, because then i will be forced to kill you too.
thank you for your time. have a nice day. please take a mint on your way out.
the. end.
Monday, October 09, 2006
finger painting [midnight thoughts.]
i'm feeling like an etch- a -sketch
the way your fingers move me.
twirling, spinning
twisted inside.
look at me. what do you see?
is it me you love
or something that you've made?
we've created something new.
pushing, pulling all the right buttons
you know how to turn me
on.
forever marked by the touch of your hands
until i am shaken
by your callous disregard
then everything is erased
forgotten
until you touch me again
gentle hands
drawing on me
drawing me in.
the way your fingers move me.
twirling, spinning
twisted inside.
look at me. what do you see?
is it me you love
or something that you've made?
we've created something new.
pushing, pulling all the right buttons
you know how to turn me
on.
forever marked by the touch of your hands
until i am shaken
by your callous disregard
then everything is erased
forgotten
until you touch me again
gentle hands
drawing on me
drawing me in.
it's a new day - meet me at the boat house
august 2006
tired and unable to move after my oceanic adventure i while away the morning lying in bed dreaming of soft hands and blue tinted lips, but like every other day in vancity this day brings excitement and thrills.
meet me at the boat house.
plunging into the frigid waters of the pacific i flail frantically trying to grap hold of the tether, but the frozen waters have short circuited my inner wiring-
no longer communicating with my brain i do not have the muscle control to pull myself onto the raft. Finally with my last ounce of energy and three sisterly hands i am half dragged onto my unsteady perch.
whipping behind the speed boat i fake compliance. there is no way i am going to willingly put my body into these galacial waters again.
"put your legs in the water!"
"i have short legs ya' know" i holler back holding on for dear life as the raft is jerked to and fro-
skidding behind the boat i feel like a man possessed, clinging to the frail edge of my crumbling sanity.
deliberately pulled into the wake of the boat i am airborne.
exhilarated i am in flight.
a short lived metamorphosis i soar not on eagles wings but like frisson l'écureuil before it crashes dans un buisson.
i swim to the dock forgetting that i cannot feel my legs, nor my arms for that matter. i am so cold my skin has turned bright red;
but it doesn't matter, for a brief moment i feel alive.
tired and unable to move after my oceanic adventure i while away the morning lying in bed dreaming of soft hands and blue tinted lips, but like every other day in vancity this day brings excitement and thrills.
meet me at the boat house.
plunging into the frigid waters of the pacific i flail frantically trying to grap hold of the tether, but the frozen waters have short circuited my inner wiring-
no longer communicating with my brain i do not have the muscle control to pull myself onto the raft. Finally with my last ounce of energy and three sisterly hands i am half dragged onto my unsteady perch.
whipping behind the speed boat i fake compliance. there is no way i am going to willingly put my body into these galacial waters again.
"put your legs in the water!"
"i have short legs ya' know" i holler back holding on for dear life as the raft is jerked to and fro-
skidding behind the boat i feel like a man possessed, clinging to the frail edge of my crumbling sanity.
deliberately pulled into the wake of the boat i am airborne.
exhilarated i am in flight.
a short lived metamorphosis i soar not on eagles wings but like frisson l'écureuil before it crashes dans un buisson.
i swim to the dock forgetting that i cannot feel my legs, nor my arms for that matter. i am so cold my skin has turned bright red;
but it doesn't matter, for a brief moment i feel alive.
Post post - our secret rendez-vous
August 26 2006
Here i am on the sunshine coast in BC.
it is more than just sublime.
my family and i are staying in the 14 room "guest house" on the Rolston estate - a stone's throw away from their mansion it is a beautiful retreat in the middle of an already wonderful vaction.
i have spent the past few days strolling, canoeing, playing with purple starfish and basking in the quiet sanctuary of both nature and man made luxuries.
having spent the afternoon on a tour of Pender harbour i had emptied my mind of all things urbane.
tonight as i floated down the pacific in my pink kayak drifting ever deeper into the gloaming i stared into the depths enchanted by the school of jellyfish gracefully dancing through the darkening waters.
counting the stars i was roused from quiet reflection by something extraordinary which had surfaced in the water beside me.
watching me intently it came ever closer, bobbing in and out of the frigid waters until it was within arms reach.
dumbstruck and amazed, hours later i am still marvelling at my fortune. How lucky am i to have shared the waters with such a beautiful and graceful creation.
i marvel at Your awesomeness.
Here i am on the sunshine coast in BC.
it is more than just sublime.
my family and i are staying in the 14 room "guest house" on the Rolston estate - a stone's throw away from their mansion it is a beautiful retreat in the middle of an already wonderful vaction.
i have spent the past few days strolling, canoeing, playing with purple starfish and basking in the quiet sanctuary of both nature and man made luxuries.
having spent the afternoon on a tour of Pender harbour i had emptied my mind of all things urbane.
tonight as i floated down the pacific in my pink kayak drifting ever deeper into the gloaming i stared into the depths enchanted by the school of jellyfish gracefully dancing through the darkening waters.
counting the stars i was roused from quiet reflection by something extraordinary which had surfaced in the water beside me.
watching me intently it came ever closer, bobbing in and out of the frigid waters until it was within arms reach.
dumbstruck and amazed, hours later i am still marvelling at my fortune. How lucky am i to have shared the waters with such a beautiful and graceful creation.
i marvel at Your awesomeness.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
How the French will inherit the earth...or at least Canada
Being the astute and slightly less than genius person that i am, during my time spent in the C dot (Chicoutimi) i have unearthed a fiendishly brilliant plan devised by les Quebecois to take over the world. that's right Pinky, after centuries of subjugation the French have developed a plan that would make Bouchard spin in his grave!1
Brilliant in it's simplicity Anglos are powerless to stop it.
NOURRIR ET VAINCRE: un bref résumé par TOAC le incomparable
step 1: lure the unsuspecting anglos to quaint little back water towns under the guise of a linguistic olive branch. then while their minds are preoccupied with trying to conjugate the endless list of french verbs STRIKE. not with guns and missles. no that is much too anglo.
the French will kill you with food my friend.
step 2: they start small. Nothing new there, it's an age old trick that even Hitler used. start with something insignificant and no one will notice. you won't even know what hit you 2 . le Quebecois have this down to an art.
juste viande et potate s'il vous plait
meat and potatoes? the french are gonna take over the world with meat and potatoes?!
ouais!
meat, potatoes... and beer, but that's another blog
TOAC shut yo mouth. c'est impossible! you can't take over a country, let alone the world with meat and potatoes!
sure you can.
just look at the southern united states. they've stuffed their people so full of meat and potates that they couldn't waddle away fast enough to save their inflated behinds.
Admittedly, one serving of potatoes and meat-smoked or otherwise- won't kill you, but this is where the brilliance lies. with a simple "do you want some more" they have established the footing for their devious plan.
step 3: after a few servings of souper they'll plop a slab of gâteau in front of you that is so big you won't see them winding up to make the next blow.
step 4: Lethargic and standing at the precipice of obesity you won't be fast enough to avoid the vole au vont, they'll most certainly throw at you next. and not just one, but two, two vol au vont. HA HA HA!3
step 5: As you stumble out of the smoke and meat (or smoked meat) filled trenches waving your white flag of surrender4, they will give you germ de blé as a healthy peace offering.
but don't fall for it people. the germ de blé is the final step in their fiendish scheme;
one spoon full of germ de blé will blow the seat off your pants and take all that beer soaked meat with it.
so there you have it folks, though it is a deceptively simple plan, it is without question the way the french will take over the world; by blowing up one colon at a time.
tricksty buggers
FIN
1.i know Bouchard isn't dead yet but it's only a matter of time before Harper has him killed
2. mainly because you won't be able to understand when they tell you le nom de plat.
3.for you unfamilliar with vol-au-vont, it's little pieces of meat (of any persuasion) in a cream sauce poured on top of a cute flaky pastry. think flaky meat grenade of death.
4. which you'll most certainly do, trust me, i was there for 5 weeks
Brilliant in it's simplicity Anglos are powerless to stop it.
NOURRIR ET VAINCRE: un bref résumé par TOAC le incomparable
step 1: lure the unsuspecting anglos to quaint little back water towns under the guise of a linguistic olive branch. then while their minds are preoccupied with trying to conjugate the endless list of french verbs STRIKE. not with guns and missles. no that is much too anglo.
the French will kill you with food my friend.
step 2: they start small. Nothing new there, it's an age old trick that even Hitler used. start with something insignificant and no one will notice. you won't even know what hit you 2 . le Quebecois have this down to an art.
juste viande et potate s'il vous plait
meat and potatoes? the french are gonna take over the world with meat and potatoes?!
ouais!
meat, potatoes... and beer, but that's another blog
TOAC shut yo mouth. c'est impossible! you can't take over a country, let alone the world with meat and potatoes!
sure you can.
just look at the southern united states. they've stuffed their people so full of meat and potates that they couldn't waddle away fast enough to save their inflated behinds.
Admittedly, one serving of potatoes and meat-smoked or otherwise- won't kill you, but this is where the brilliance lies. with a simple "do you want some more" they have established the footing for their devious plan.
step 3: after a few servings of souper they'll plop a slab of gâteau in front of you that is so big you won't see them winding up to make the next blow.
step 4: Lethargic and standing at the precipice of obesity you won't be fast enough to avoid the vole au vont, they'll most certainly throw at you next. and not just one, but two, two vol au vont. HA HA HA!3
step 5: As you stumble out of the smoke and meat (or smoked meat) filled trenches waving your white flag of surrender4, they will give you germ de blé as a healthy peace offering.
but don't fall for it people. the germ de blé is the final step in their fiendish scheme;
one spoon full of germ de blé will blow the seat off your pants and take all that beer soaked meat with it.
so there you have it folks, though it is a deceptively simple plan, it is without question the way the french will take over the world; by blowing up one colon at a time.
tricksty buggers
FIN
1.i know Bouchard isn't dead yet but it's only a matter of time before Harper has him killed
2. mainly because you won't be able to understand when they tell you le nom de plat.
3.for you unfamilliar with vol-au-vont, it's little pieces of meat (of any persuasion) in a cream sauce poured on top of a cute flaky pastry. think flaky meat grenade of death.
4. which you'll most certainly do, trust me, i was there for 5 weeks
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Comment dit-on " Hung Over"?
is this the land of Kubla Khan, where magic dwells, and love is spawned?
to find this land of love and lust you need not drugs or pixie dust.
your heart it marks the pass of time
it swells with passion, joy and wine.
the beat that drives you marches on
there is no rest; there is no dawn.
yet still you smile and laugh and play
you smirk at what the neighbours say.
the nights are long,
the air is heady
intoxified your mind is weary.
one day, a month, it's all the same
you'll lose yourself; forget your name.
a phantom voice, from days of yore
beckons from behind closed doors.
lost between the maze of walls
you feel it's story; hear it's call.
you'll stand upon the mountain top
and wait for all the world to stop.
your body reels your mind is weaving
cause come the dawn you know you're leaving.
leaving this whole world behind
to join the rest trapped in real time.
but i'm not sad, i've no regrets
there is none other like Québec.
----------------
i'm a little behind on my blogging, i went to Quebec city a few weeks ago, here are my impressions.
btw, i was not drunk. the title of this entry will make more sense after i write my next blog.
to find this land of love and lust you need not drugs or pixie dust.
your heart it marks the pass of time
it swells with passion, joy and wine.
the beat that drives you marches on
there is no rest; there is no dawn.
yet still you smile and laugh and play
you smirk at what the neighbours say.
the nights are long,
the air is heady
intoxified your mind is weary.
one day, a month, it's all the same
you'll lose yourself; forget your name.
a phantom voice, from days of yore
beckons from behind closed doors.
lost between the maze of walls
you feel it's story; hear it's call.
you'll stand upon the mountain top
and wait for all the world to stop.
your body reels your mind is weaving
cause come the dawn you know you're leaving.
leaving this whole world behind
to join the rest trapped in real time.
but i'm not sad, i've no regrets
there is none other like Québec.
----------------
i'm a little behind on my blogging, i went to Quebec city a few weeks ago, here are my impressions.
btw, i was not drunk. the title of this entry will make more sense after i write my next blog.
Friday, July 14, 2006
out of range
i'm gonna be in the big QC this weekend checking things out. won't be able to reply to emails or post anything for a while so ya'll will just have to find some way to survive without me. i'll let you know the gritty details when i get back.
salut!
salut!
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
has anyone noticed...?
that's a bit of a misleading title because everyone i've talked to here has noticed this interesting phenomenon.
why is it easier to understand the busted franglish of the anglo students yet très difficile to comprend le français of someone who is purely franco?
it's not that the franco's don't speak clearly,
they will enunciate and speak v..e..r..y ...sl..ow...ly- très lentment- because you are a stupid anglo.
No. that's not true.
they won't talk to you like you're stupid because you're an anglo...
they might stare at you as you walk through the town, but they wont talk to you like you're stupid.
it's far easier for them to just roll their eyes, plaster on a condescending smile and speak to you in english...besides, this way it takes less time.
(prepare yourselves for a random tangent)
prêt...
set...
go!
is it just me or are anglos the most linguistically lazy people on earth?
okay that's not entirely true. we've done a great job of spreading English around the world 1.
but seriously, why is it that everywhere you go people can speak mulitiple languages, even if it's rudimentary, except for in the Anglo West?
we're so monolingual...
it's terribly pathetic.
you'd think we'd get tired of people rolling their eyes at us,
but i guess we're too busy trying to keep our heads big heads and inflated egos from getting stuck in doorways to notice.
FIN
1. it's like herpes at band camp. encephalitis eat your heart out.
why is it easier to understand the busted franglish of the anglo students yet très difficile to comprend le français of someone who is purely franco?
it's not that the franco's don't speak clearly,
they will enunciate and speak v..e..r..y ...sl..ow...ly- très lentment- because you are a stupid anglo.
No. that's not true.
they won't talk to you like you're stupid because you're an anglo...
they might stare at you as you walk through the town, but they wont talk to you like you're stupid.
it's far easier for them to just roll their eyes, plaster on a condescending smile and speak to you in english...besides, this way it takes less time.
(prepare yourselves for a random tangent)
prêt...
set...
go!
is it just me or are anglos the most linguistically lazy people on earth?
okay that's not entirely true. we've done a great job of spreading English around the world 1.
but seriously, why is it that everywhere you go people can speak mulitiple languages, even if it's rudimentary, except for in the Anglo West?
we're so monolingual...
it's terribly pathetic.
you'd think we'd get tired of people rolling their eyes at us,
but i guess we're too busy trying to keep our heads big heads and inflated egos from getting stuck in doorways to notice.
FIN
1. it's like herpes at band camp. encephalitis eat your heart out.
je réfléchis
The problem with this program is:
when you just want to be alone and sulk you have no where to find refuge without looking like a loner/anti-social.
man i could use my room (in toronto) right now.
don't kid yourselves family, i'm not homesick.
i just want to lock myself in my bedroom, lie on my bed and listen to some english music. is that too much to ask?
i have a feeling the answer is ouais.
i know my current antisocial behaviour isn't gonna help my mood but sue me if i don't want to smile right now.
when you just want to be alone and sulk you have no where to find refuge without looking like a loner/anti-social.
man i could use my room (in toronto) right now.
don't kid yourselves family, i'm not homesick.
i just want to lock myself in my bedroom, lie on my bed and listen to some english music. is that too much to ask?
i have a feeling the answer is ouais.
i know my current antisocial behaviour isn't gonna help my mood but sue me if i don't want to smile right now.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Why ABBA sucks in both official languages
My first week in Quèbec has drawn to a close and everyone is dying to know what i've been doing in the land where froggies play.
learning and a lot of walking.
The most important thing i've learned - aside from the fact that the weather in Chicoutimi is almost as random as irregular verbs...and that ABBA will always suck- is that the Quebecois are much friendlier than the Torontois...at least in Chicoutimi.
Maybe it's the smalltown mentality, but everyone has a bonjour and a kind word (that you may or may not understand) for you over here. Even as i've been writing this a squirrel came over to get a closer look 1 .
The second thing i've learned is when you sing a song in a language you're not fluent in it sounds like garbled foolishness 2 .
Thirdly, it's easy to make friends when you have something in common 3 .
Fourthly, ( i swear this is the last thing...unless i come up with something else) living in a small town isn't as bad as you'd think...at least for the first week and if all your activities and social outings are planned for you.
Fifthly, (sorry) don't tell anyone you're allergic to nuts and food colouring; they won't let you eat anything good.
FIN
i mean it this time.
1.MAN! even the wildlife in Quèbec is nice, unlike our neighbourhood rabbit that will eat your plants, give you cut eye and even a swift kick for good measure.
2.the eldest son in my host family likes to "sing" english songs so i know this for a fact.
3.like not being able to communicate with anyone else.
learning and a lot of walking.
The most important thing i've learned - aside from the fact that the weather in Chicoutimi is almost as random as irregular verbs...and that ABBA will always suck- is that the Quebecois are much friendlier than the Torontois...at least in Chicoutimi.
Maybe it's the smalltown mentality, but everyone has a bonjour and a kind word (that you may or may not understand) for you over here. Even as i've been writing this a squirrel came over to get a closer look 1 .
The second thing i've learned is when you sing a song in a language you're not fluent in it sounds like garbled foolishness 2 .
Thirdly, it's easy to make friends when you have something in common 3 .
Fourthly, ( i swear this is the last thing...unless i come up with something else) living in a small town isn't as bad as you'd think...at least for the first week and if all your activities and social outings are planned for you.
Fifthly, (sorry) don't tell anyone you're allergic to nuts and food colouring; they won't let you eat anything good.
FIN
i mean it this time.
1.MAN! even the wildlife in Quèbec is nice, unlike our neighbourhood rabbit that will eat your plants, give you cut eye and even a swift kick for good measure.
2.the eldest son in my host family likes to "sing" english songs so i know this for a fact.
3.like not being able to communicate with anyone else.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
and now a word from our sponsors
salut!
je suis ici a Chicoutimi et mon dieu je ne parle pas le bon français.
but don`t worry mes petits mignons as each day passes my spoken french gets better and better.
when i first arrived i could hardly speak in english let alone french, (i blame this on sleep deprivation and a desperate need for a shower). all could say was: ''quand je suis très fatigue je ne comprend pas le français.'' (when i`m very tired i can`t understand french...or at least i think that's what it means).
this of course was not true, i understood most of what they were saying i was just too brain dead to formulate any real sentences of my own.
oh wait, i also said ''comment?'' (what?) a lot.
but this morning was a whole other story.
i had an hour long conversation with my host mother about les chinois, because as you all know i am the reigning authority on all things chinois. it was awesome, my housemate had no idea what we were talking about. it`s a beautiful thing when you can hold a proper conversation with someone .
now you must be wondering how a person can go from ''wha?'' to discussing the one child policy in two days. i accredit it to one of two things..or both...the first probably affected the other...but i digress.
it was probably my host mom`s eldest son Martin that got my mind dans le french mode. the first night the boy drilled me with 20 questions while his brother Oliver tried to talk over him about tennis...what they were asking me i still have no idea but being constantly barraged by young Martin is enough to get anyone`s mind going. the boy talks so fast it's like trying to talk to a flock of 15 year old girls à la meme temp.
now if only i could figure out how to use this universal keyboard.
BLAST!
je suis ici a Chicoutimi et mon dieu je ne parle pas le bon français.
but don`t worry mes petits mignons as each day passes my spoken french gets better and better.
when i first arrived i could hardly speak in english let alone french, (i blame this on sleep deprivation and a desperate need for a shower). all could say was: ''quand je suis très fatigue je ne comprend pas le français.'' (when i`m very tired i can`t understand french...or at least i think that's what it means).
this of course was not true, i understood most of what they were saying i was just too brain dead to formulate any real sentences of my own.
oh wait, i also said ''comment?'' (what?) a lot.
but this morning was a whole other story.
i had an hour long conversation with my host mother about les chinois, because as you all know i am the reigning authority on all things chinois. it was awesome, my housemate had no idea what we were talking about. it`s a beautiful thing when you can hold a proper conversation with someone .
now you must be wondering how a person can go from ''wha?'' to discussing the one child policy in two days. i accredit it to one of two things..or both...the first probably affected the other...but i digress.
it was probably my host mom`s eldest son Martin that got my mind dans le french mode. the first night the boy drilled me with 20 questions while his brother Oliver tried to talk over him about tennis...what they were asking me i still have no idea but being constantly barraged by young Martin is enough to get anyone`s mind going. the boy talks so fast it's like trying to talk to a flock of 15 year old girls à la meme temp.
now if only i could figure out how to use this universal keyboard.
BLAST!
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
a rhyme for me - Jan 31/06
How have I missed Thee? Let me count the ways
I've missed thee for thy unruly hair,
I've missed thee for thy wonderous stare
I've missed thee for thy laughable demeanour,
I've missed thee because thou art such a keener.
written by: CSM Davis
in fifteen seconds on msn msgr
okay...so it's not E. Barrett-Browning, but before you criticize, could you do better in fifteen seconds? if you think you can, consider this a challenge. submit a fifteen second poem if you've got the balls. besides, have you ever seen such an inspired use of the keener?
Never in your life!!!
regardless, this is a wonderful excuse to practice my html and it was written with love so you can just skip to the next blog or suck it up. personally, i'd rather you suck it up.
I've missed thee for thy unruly hair,
I've missed thee for thy wonderous stare
I've missed thee for thy laughable demeanour,
I've missed thee because thou art such a keener.
written by: CSM Davis
in fifteen seconds on msn msgr
okay...so it's not E. Barrett-Browning, but before you criticize, could you do better in fifteen seconds? if you think you can, consider this a challenge. submit a fifteen second poem if you've got the balls. besides, have you ever seen such an inspired use of the keener?
Never in your life!!!
regardless, this is a wonderful excuse to practice my html and it was written with love so you can just skip to the next blog or suck it up. personally, i'd rather you suck it up.
things i have learned - Jan 28/06
in no particular order:
2)signing Michael Moore's name to a critique of conservative/republican politics will guarantee that any self-indulgent piece of literary crap will spread faster than herpes 2 at band camp.
3)never lick a frozen chicken...nothing good can come of it
1)if you invite a small african man over to dinner he will only want to eat zebra meat.
sincerely yours,
Michael Moore
copyright(imagine a copyright sign) toac.
2)signing Michael Moore's name to a critique of conservative/republican politics will guarantee that any self-indulgent piece of literary crap will spread faster than herpes 2 at band camp.
3)never lick a frozen chicken...nothing good can come of it
1)if you invite a small african man over to dinner he will only want to eat zebra meat.
sincerely yours,
Michael Moore
copyright(imagine a copyright sign) toac.
not so conservative afterall - Jan 27/06
props to Harper.
all left -wing Canadians breathed a collective sigh of relief this week as the new prime minister told the American Foreign Minister to suck it and stop trying to run our country. despite my many misgivings about the potential threat to our sovereignty under conservative rule, i'm glad to see that they are at least slightly relcuctant to get into bed with our neighbours to the south...at least on the first date
all left -wing Canadians breathed a collective sigh of relief this week as the new prime minister told the American Foreign Minister to suck it and stop trying to run our country. despite my many misgivings about the potential threat to our sovereignty under conservative rule, i'm glad to see that they are at least slightly relcuctant to get into bed with our neighbours to the south...at least on the first date
it's a bust - June 6/06
remember how i said i was going to be frugal until pentecost sunday to save money for my cross country voyage...well that sorta went to pot.
what can i say? i got a better offer.
what can a little mixie spend $400 on in a month?
- theatre tickets ( lord of the rings the musical is sooo over rated): billions of dollars
-dinners: $50
-too much tim hortons for my own good $20
-hamburgers to feed the ravenous masses: $50
-movie tickets : $12
-clubbing, (mental note: make sure to plan ahead and do the guest list thing): $12
-drinks for me and my cronies to make the clubbing less painful: $27
-bus tickets and passes to traipse through downtown t dot with ease: $58
-fabulous clothes and accessories (and by clothes i mean one shirt, but i did get the awesomest puma bag): $50
- random things that i can't recall: more dollars
being a tourist in your own city: priceless.
thanks charles! but next time we put on the ritz can we go for the cheap version?
what can i say? i got a better offer.
what can a little mixie spend $400 on in a month?
- theatre tickets ( lord of the rings the musical is sooo over rated): billions of dollars
-dinners: $50
-too much tim hortons for my own good $20
-hamburgers to feed the ravenous masses: $50
-movie tickets : $12
-clubbing, (mental note: make sure to plan ahead and do the guest list thing): $12
-drinks for me and my cronies to make the clubbing less painful: $27
-bus tickets and passes to traipse through downtown t dot with ease: $58
-fabulous clothes and accessories (and by clothes i mean one shirt, but i did get the awesomest puma bag): $50
- random things that i can't recall: more dollars
being a tourist in your own city: priceless.
thanks charles! but next time we put on the ritz can we go for the cheap version?
fresh prince, eat your heart out! - May 18/06
since my last entry many things have changed. it wasn't the drastic change that i had been looking for, but subtle changes in every aspect of my life. just enough to renew your will to live...or my will to live.
let's recap shall we;
school: the day after i posted my blog i discover that i have been thrust into a new faculty. it's time to say farewell to the lackadaisical days of arts and face the future as a health studies student head on. whatever that means.
work: surprise! my boss sold the store with no days notice. one day i was working for him, the next i wasn't. whatever shall i do? with boss man out of the picture we are currently being corporately run. on monday i had the pleasure of working with rosencrantz and guildenstern (it's a hamlet reference, either you get it or you don't). it's only by God's grace that i didn't kill one of the todds. yes todds with an "s", as in two todds. don't even get me started. but it's all good, i still have my job for as long as i want it and i've got senority so i can do as i please. yeah right, head office has a list as long as the stick up their a$$ of things that have to be "ammended". bastards.
church: i have decided to rejoin the worship team at church.
my sabbatical has been long enough. i have spent enough time singing in the pews trying to lift my voice loud enough to encourage others to open their mouths and lift their hearts. though i disagree with those who say that it is the job of the worship team to lead ppl "into the spirit" or "guide them to the throne of grace", if my church congregation refuses to do what they are called to do, for lack of confidence, lack of awe or because they have to much pride to fall on their knees before their God then i will show them how to be undignified. cause on that final day i want to hear "well done, my good and faithful servant." heck ya!
life: finalized my trip to quebec...i'm nervous. gonna be staying with cannibalistic frogs, who wouldn't be. I've also decided to prolong my summer adventure and head out west to visit la famille in the v. dot. this will result in an extended commitment to my job because i will be effectively broke upon my return from my cross country odyssey.
spent the day trying to turn water into wine...failed,
pretty much shaved my head...yup.
love: N/A...yeah....
fin
let's recap shall we;
school: the day after i posted my blog i discover that i have been thrust into a new faculty. it's time to say farewell to the lackadaisical days of arts and face the future as a health studies student head on. whatever that means.
work: surprise! my boss sold the store with no days notice. one day i was working for him, the next i wasn't. whatever shall i do? with boss man out of the picture we are currently being corporately run. on monday i had the pleasure of working with rosencrantz and guildenstern (it's a hamlet reference, either you get it or you don't). it's only by God's grace that i didn't kill one of the todds. yes todds with an "s", as in two todds. don't even get me started. but it's all good, i still have my job for as long as i want it and i've got senority so i can do as i please. yeah right, head office has a list as long as the stick up their a$$ of things that have to be "ammended". bastards.
church: i have decided to rejoin the worship team at church.
my sabbatical has been long enough. i have spent enough time singing in the pews trying to lift my voice loud enough to encourage others to open their mouths and lift their hearts. though i disagree with those who say that it is the job of the worship team to lead ppl "into the spirit" or "guide them to the throne of grace", if my church congregation refuses to do what they are called to do, for lack of confidence, lack of awe or because they have to much pride to fall on their knees before their God then i will show them how to be undignified. cause on that final day i want to hear "well done, my good and faithful servant." heck ya!
life: finalized my trip to quebec...i'm nervous. gonna be staying with cannibalistic frogs, who wouldn't be. I've also decided to prolong my summer adventure and head out west to visit la famille in the v. dot. this will result in an extended commitment to my job because i will be effectively broke upon my return from my cross country odyssey.
spent the day trying to turn water into wine...failed,
pretty much shaved my head...yup.
love: N/A...yeah....
fin
please explain - April 15/06
please explain how i can go out to dinner, get a $15 meal and end up paying $25? even with my rudimentary math skills that doesn't add up...
even with a freakin calculator that doesn't add up!
next time i go out i'm getting a separate bill. i'm not cheap and i'm not petty, but it takes me four hours to make 40 bucks and if i end up paying someone else's share that's just another hand in my pocket
summer break is the single worst thing that can happen to your bank account. in the past four weeks my bank account has been deprived of over $400.
$400!!! what could i have possible spent $400 on? various things...definitely not clothes.
buxton strife is sporting the latest in homeless fashion.
wearing pants from jr. high with stragetically located holes for breathablity; a free give away shirt; stolen socks and a grey woolen hat . she looks oh so chic in vagrant couture
even though easter is tomorrow i am going to give up spending money for lent.
commencing lent 2.0.
my penny pinching will continue until ...next easter.
ha! like that's gonna happn.
can't wander the drunken streets of quebec for five weeks without spending money. especially if i intend to join in the drunken revelry.
debauchery demands unrestrained monetary recklessness
don't get me wrong, i'm no sybarite. i was so good last night i should be awarded sainthood.
i'm just saying, if i wanted to join the rabble-rousing it would require an ungodly expenditure of money.
and so, in anticipation of a substantial decrease in the overall size of my bank account, lent 2.0, beginning the 18th day of the 4th month of the 2006th year of our Lord, shall last henceforth until the holy day of pentecost...or until i get an offer i can't refuse.
anti-dextrous - March 4/06
i am so tired i cannot move my arms.
i am typing this with my nose...
i have also been out- smarted by a plastic bag.
unfortunate things all around
LENT - the musical - March 2/06
i am giving up stress for Lent.
WHAT?
how am i ever going to survive 40 straight days stress free?
i do not know.
stress has been such a constant companion. always there for me whether i need it or not. what will i do without it?!
eat lots of cake probably. not study for exams. hand in mediocre assignments, or maybe not hand them in at all. goof off at work and spend too much time liming
wait,
i already do that.
but without stress maybe i wont have that annoying superego nagging me all the time.
i've changed my mind. i'll give up guilt for Lent instead.
WHAT?!
how am i ever going to survive 40 straight days guilt free?
i do not know.
guilt has been such a constant companion. always there whether i need it or not. what will i do without it?
eat lots of cake probably. not study for exams. hand in mediocre assignments, or maybe not hand them in at all. goof off at work and spend too much time liming. oh yes, and most importantly, not give a damn
i can live with that.
WHAT?
how am i ever going to survive 40 straight days stress free?
i do not know.
stress has been such a constant companion. always there for me whether i need it or not. what will i do without it?!
eat lots of cake probably. not study for exams. hand in mediocre assignments, or maybe not hand them in at all. goof off at work and spend too much time liming
wait,
i already do that.
but without stress maybe i wont have that annoying superego nagging me all the time.
i've changed my mind. i'll give up guilt for Lent instead.
WHAT?!
how am i ever going to survive 40 straight days guilt free?
i do not know.
guilt has been such a constant companion. always there whether i need it or not. what will i do without it?
eat lots of cake probably. not study for exams. hand in mediocre assignments, or maybe not hand them in at all. goof off at work and spend too much time liming. oh yes, and most importantly, not give a damn
i can live with that.
my heart - Feb 22/06
i feel like i am floating.
my heart is breaking as we speak.
the separation of spirit and mind, my body feels so weak.
a crushing wave of throbbing pain
i cannot touch the floor.
twice this week my faith's been tested
i can't take it anymore.
to redeem the lies of another i placed my trust in you
but now my eyes are clouded,
tears stuck, i am unglued.
standing alone my hands are shaking
i never would have thought it true.
disoriented- my world is breaking
i choke on thoughts of you.
---
this is not poetry for poetry's sake, nor is it very good. it is a cathartic release. now i know how i feel. the end.
end note: to clear up any confusion or foolish assumptions this poem is not about the person mentioned in the previous blog.
my heart is breaking as we speak.
the separation of spirit and mind, my body feels so weak.
a crushing wave of throbbing pain
i cannot touch the floor.
twice this week my faith's been tested
i can't take it anymore.
to redeem the lies of another i placed my trust in you
but now my eyes are clouded,
tears stuck, i am unglued.
standing alone my hands are shaking
i never would have thought it true.
disoriented- my world is breaking
i choke on thoughts of you.
---
this is not poetry for poetry's sake, nor is it very good. it is a cathartic release. now i know how i feel. the end.
end note: to clear up any confusion or foolish assumptions this poem is not about the person mentioned in the previous blog.
i should be working - Feb 22/06
lately i've been overcome with this irresistible urge to kill someone.
note: my desire to maim and destroy is not some random compulsion brought on by a psychological imbalance directed at some innocent victim.
far from it in fact.
my desire to kill is a very sane and rational response directed towards a very specific person. a person who shall remain nameless, although anyone who reads this and knows me can probably guess.
murder. the ultimate closure.
this is an unfortunate feeling.
having just come back from retreat, (and because i am not completely morally corrupt) i know i should not kill people. lucky for this person Jesus specifically says not to kill people... okay, moses said it but it was from God and God and Jesus are tight so it's pretty much the same right?
maybe i could just hate them.
hating's good.
" if anyone says 'I love God' but hates his brother, he is a liar".
seronica is not a liar.
life would be so much easier if I didn't have to be Christ like.
easier, but full of spite and pain.
not so easy really, just sad.
sad and lonely. and spiteful.
so what can i do?
read my bible and pray. and burn all their stuff.
fire. the other ultimate closure .
note: my desire to maim and destroy is not some random compulsion brought on by a psychological imbalance directed at some innocent victim.
far from it in fact.
my desire to kill is a very sane and rational response directed towards a very specific person. a person who shall remain nameless, although anyone who reads this and knows me can probably guess.
murder. the ultimate closure.
this is an unfortunate feeling.
having just come back from retreat, (and because i am not completely morally corrupt) i know i should not kill people. lucky for this person Jesus specifically says not to kill people... okay, moses said it but it was from God and God and Jesus are tight so it's pretty much the same right?
maybe i could just hate them.
hating's good.
" if anyone says 'I love God' but hates his brother, he is a liar".
seronica is not a liar.
life would be so much easier if I didn't have to be Christ like.
easier, but full of spite and pain.
not so easy really, just sad.
sad and lonely. and spiteful.
so what can i do?
read my bible and pray. and burn all their stuff.
fire. the other ultimate closure .
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
empty glasses - May 9/2006
Contrary to what people may say, alcohol does not make your problems disappear.
if anything, it makes them a little more blurry.
i almost finished my bottle of raspberry vodka today, (but the night is still young so who knows, it may still happen.) and yet i have found no solution. no answer...even the questions are hard to grasp.
where do i go from here?
i feel so old and yet so unaccomplished.
i fear it is time to do something drastic, but i don't know what.
drifting between misunderstanding and utter confusion i feel like i've been here before.
i have been here before.
is life an endless circle of moments relived? must disappointments and bitterness be recycled, while we sit watching-
watching others find fulfillment as they bear all the weight of our imagining?
but no matter how hard we try solace cannot be found at the bottom of an empty glass. there are no answers there.
and so i wait, in the safety of familiarity and the constant mind numbing drudgery for something to find me, to force me to be something bigger than myself...
but i cannot wait. something must be done
and so i stand,
screaming into the abyss,
searching for a light,
but... still waiting...
for someone to take my hand.
if anything, it makes them a little more blurry.
i almost finished my bottle of raspberry vodka today, (but the night is still young so who knows, it may still happen.) and yet i have found no solution. no answer...even the questions are hard to grasp.
where do i go from here?
i feel so old and yet so unaccomplished.
i fear it is time to do something drastic, but i don't know what.
drifting between misunderstanding and utter confusion i feel like i've been here before.
i have been here before.
is life an endless circle of moments relived? must disappointments and bitterness be recycled, while we sit watching-
watching others find fulfillment as they bear all the weight of our imagining?
but no matter how hard we try solace cannot be found at the bottom of an empty glass. there are no answers there.
and so i wait, in the safety of familiarity and the constant mind numbing drudgery for something to find me, to force me to be something bigger than myself...
but i cannot wait. something must be done
and so i stand,
screaming into the abyss,
searching for a light,
but... still waiting...
for someone to take my hand.
i have joined the masses
this is officially my first blogspot post.
prior to this morning's revelation that it is time that i grow up and move from the ranks of lowly myspace blogger to the beautiful sophistication of blogspot, i had been posting most of my work on myspace.
having made the wise decision to switch blogspot i will repost my blogs here. if you are familiar with my previous work feel free to pass over them and read my new stuff.
enjoy.
prior to this morning's revelation that it is time that i grow up and move from the ranks of lowly myspace blogger to the beautiful sophistication of blogspot, i had been posting most of my work on myspace.
having made the wise decision to switch blogspot i will repost my blogs here. if you are familiar with my previous work feel free to pass over them and read my new stuff.
enjoy.
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