Ifoundserene is home to some of the world's best investigative reporters and mediocre poets. Stationed in South Korea our reporters have uncovered an international conspiracy.
Teetering on the brink of personal destruction with the threat of extinction looming overhead it appears the US government has, yet again, decided to do some natural selection of it's own.
Having learned it's lesson from previous dealings with eugenics the CIA, FBI and PETA have joined forces to curtail the spread of foreigners* and foreign powers to ensure a long and uncontested future as a world power. Or so some would have you think.
Over the past several weeks Seoul has been the site of mass demonstrations and riots in protest of recently elected President Lee Myungbak and his proposals for an American free trade agreement and resumed importation of American beef in the fear that the beef slated for distribution in Korea is: a) of an inferior quality and more importantly; b) tainted with bovine spongiform encephalopathy (mad cow disease) .
It has been suggested by some that Koreans are inherently more genetically susceptible to BES and the importation of this devilish meat would result in the decimation of the South Korean popluation. Can this "fact" be scientifically proven? Of course it can. Has it? No. But whose to say it isn't true? If it's true there's a lot to lose, if it isn't the only one who gets hurt is America. I can live with that.
But alas there are always two sides to a story.
Who could possibly gain from an alimental genocide? Certainly not the American beef industry. With a tainted reputation their only hope for international business would come from Africa. So who is responsible for what could be the most scandalous infringement on personal rights since the Tuskegee smallpox experiment- or at least the spread of these rumors? Why those with the most to gain - and who would that be? The Australian beef industry.
Wha..??
Like most things ** Koreans prefer local products to those of foreign sources however Australian beef comes in a close second in popularity with the added advantage of having a cheaper, more plentiful supply. With the potential usurpation of the proverbial beef throne one can imagine the lengths to which the Australian cowmen would go to defend their hard earned territory.
With such a large market chain involving the processing, production and distribution sectors not to mention a large chunk of their economy dependent on maintaining the dominance of the Korean beef market who can be surprised that Australia would have a vested interested in keeping cheap American beef out of the Korean market?
A recent 25% raise in Australian beef due to increased demand for safe beef products has lined the pockets of many an Aussie cowboy and if westerns don't lie cowboys are very territorial and; if my history lessons don't fail me Australia was founded entirely by convicts and the socially undesirable AND; if my genetics classes don't fail me personality traits and behaviour are 9/10ths governed by heredity*** therefore you can't trust an Aussie cowpoke to play nice on the international business field...but then again American politicians are a bunch of dirty, single-minded, underhanded, douche bag bastards so they probably are trying to cull the entire population of the Pacific Rim with their boat loads of "crazy cow".
But why go to all the trouble of reversing a food ban and weather riot after increasingly violent riot? You'd think there'd be an easier way to do it than with hamburgers...then again their use of the McDonald dollar menu has done a great job at reducing the American lower class population- who knows their plan is so crazy it just might work.
...Or maybe it's New Zealand.
~ toac loves a good conspiracy theory even if she has to make them up herself
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for other insights and opinions peruse these at your leisure
what's going on
what "koreans" have to say
for something closer to the truth check out the BBC's
Q & A S Korean Beef Protests
*note the term foreigner is defined entirely based upon who is doing the speaking/writing/bigoted thinking.
** not including physical standards of beauty - there is nothing more beautiful in Korea than the stereotypical Western image of beauty.
***totally untrue
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