Friday, June 20, 2008

going global

ifoundserene has received international acclaim as an up-to-the-minute, trend setting, satirical travel and political blog (for obvious reasons).
Having received this recognition Toac, founder and chief writer at ifoundserene, has decided that in order to hold onto this designation in a time where blog loyalty has become as fickle as a preschool crush it has become necessary to expand. Introducing new staff writer Chris Maupin!
Welcome to the show Chris.


Global Warming Strikes the Office
(ANSAN). BY CHRIS MAUPIN, STAFF WRITER. JUNE 19, 2008

The battle over climate change has finally hit Boston Language School. Tensions flared on Wednesday when Chris Maupin, a foreign teacher, changed the teachers' office thermostat to 72F from 64F where it had been set by a Korean teacher. "64 degrees is ridiculous!" Chris added "We are in the middle of a global climate crisis and she [Narleu*] is trying to run a meat locker in here."

Most scientists, governments and people who can read feel that unnecessary uses of electricity contribute to climate change.

Narleu, who insists that 64 degrees farenheit is a reasonable temperature was wearing a sweater when she made the following statement. "It is too hot in here - everyone is buring up." It was not immediately clear why Narleu chose to lower the temperature to 64 and then cover up with a sweater. "Chris didn't think about how I felt when he changed the thermostat to 72."

The confrontation turned ugly when Lauren lashed out at Chris in the meeting room, claiming that he had 'severely upset her.' Chris denied that his intention was to upset his coworker. "I was simply responding to the fact that it is [explitive] freezing in here, and it's the middle of June!" "Am I the only one here who believe in ethical and responsible use of power?"

Fortunately, he is in good company. On the night of June 18th, the entire foreign staff met in secret at an undisclosed location and drafted the "Boston Foreign Teachers' Climate Change Protection Agreement" (BFTCCPA). The ten-point document outlines pledges that the foreign staff have agreed to make regarding power consumption and energy usage at the school. "This is an important first step" said Brian MacAlpine, Committee Chair. Arala queen of the Irish elves and research chief was tired of "...coming into freezing cold classrooms with windows and doors wide-open." "We are tired of seeing such a disregard for power usage and common sense."

"Signing this agreement is our way of making a stand at our workplace." said project leader Chris Maupin. "I think it's really scary when Americans are the ones who are most concerned about energy abuse." [Editors' note: Toac, who signed and helped draft the agreement is a Canadian.]

Other signatories, including Belvedere Johnsoba** of Minnesota and Toac noted that responsible energy usage is an important way to influence the next generation--their students.

The agreement--which includes promises to maintain room temperatures above 72F, use natural sunlight when possible and cut down on overall power consumption--is expected to be signed on Friday and submitted to Company President David Choi by current head of foreign staff, Jeffrey Gilliam. "We expect that David will be most pleased--afterall, we are trying to save him money."


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If you've enjoyed Chris' contribution to this page you can find Chris and read his personal work at chrison2wheels.com.

If you'd care to join us in our campaign to save the frozen asses of BLS employees and the polar ice caps we will soon be posting an international petition to uphold the Boston Foreign Teachers' Climate Change Protection Agreement please do your part and sign or send money if you are so inclined. For environmentally friendly placards of course.



*note certain names have been changed in the piece in order to;
a) protect the identity of those who wish to maintain plausible deniablity
b) **not blow the cover of certain spies operating out of BLS***
c) shake things up a little.



***said spies are in no way related/connected to previously mentioned KGB operatives within the ansan area (as far as i know)

3 comments:

CrankyPilot74 said...

This is trashy, yellow-journalism. Exactly what the world needs badly!

TOAC is a really good blogger. The 2nd best in Ansan.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed the piece . . . I hope everything works out for the BFTCCPA.

toac said...

note to readers: ifoundserene has so much political sway shortly after releasing this post the korean government passed a law stating that all air conditioners must be kept at a minimum of 26 degrees.
booyah!