life's a beach

how to make the most of your time when you're living for the weekend.

Depending on what time of year you arrive in Korea there are a plethora of things you can do in a weekend/long weekend to distract yourself from the fact that you've sold your soul to work in a country with a depreciating economy.

M.T.: Short for membership training, in a nutshell Koreans love their booze and bonding. A hold over from university/frosh days M.T. is a cabin retreat that involves B.B. guns, excessive eating, frivolity and the ubiquitous excessive drinking. I highly suggest making friends with as many Koreans as possible upon landing as this will increase your chances of getting invited to an M.T. exponentially. Just make sure that you are well aware of your soj limit beforehand and avoid playing "sam yuk gu" at all costs. If you choose not to heed my advice...bring a bucket.


Mudfest: An annual event held on the 2nd and 3rd weekends of July mudfest is, as it's name would suggest a festival dedicated to mud and less obviously, (if you've never been to a korean festival*) drunken debauchery. Internationally renown for their miraculous, healing mud pools mudfest transforms the sleepy seaside town of Boryeong into a mecca for wayguks and waygukphiles. In all of my global adventuring i have yet to find any single event that has drawn such an immense group of foreigners. Whether or not that is good thing has yet to be determined. Once the fireworks have died down and your sunburn has been dealt with it's time to call it a night. From motels to camping out on the beach many sleeping options are available. If you choose the organic route July is monsoon season so be prepared and opt for a sturdy tent/boat house or you might find yourself rather water logged.
That being said Mudfest is the highlight of many an expat's time in Korea.

the DMZ: If you're a fan of blatant propaganda, tight schedules and Big Brother then this tour is for you. Welcome to "The last peaceful place on Earth". There are about a hundred different tour groups that will take you to this sanctuary** any day of the week. Some activities include a trip to the unification tower where you can see the NK propaganda village and a tour of the Tunnel of Aggression where you can stroll through a tunnel dug by the North in their last invasion attempt.
Note, it may be demilitarized but don't cross any lines that you aren't supposed to Samsung's got a lazer that'll zap your ass from space. Seriously. They don't just make phones. But don't let that stress you out your tour group will probably make a pit stop at the "fair" and give you a wicked lunch. Hoorah!


Sokcho/Seorak -san: Whether you're feeling the beach or wanting some great hiking this is the place for you. Located in the far northeast along the coast of what the rest of the world calls the Japanese Sea you'll find Sokcho in the province of Gangwon.
Sokcho: Where a perfect blue ocean meets white sandy beaches you can spend your days in the sun and your nights downing dried squid and kelp (their other claims to fame) and trespassing in abandoned derelict haunted buildings guarded by ghost dogs.

If for some reason you get tired of lying on the beach and digging sand out of your various orifices pack some snacks and get yourself to Seorak san.

Seorak-san: A short bus ride away from the beach Seorak-san is renown for it's spectacular views, waterfalls, giant Buddha and absolute disregard for safety. Think of how jealous your friends will be when you retell your near death experience teetering on the edge of the world as you float in a sea of clouds at the peak of Gwongeum-seong some 900 m in the air. However, considering the fact that Koreans do not believe in railings nor in patience it is highly likely that you may find yourself free falling off of said mountain after receiving a swift jab to the ribs/ roundhouse kick to the side of the head from an impatient ajumma.
If you are fortunate enough to survive your assent to the heavens take your time and check out the water falls and temples located on the grounds of this spectacular national park and be thankful to have your feet on terra firma.

After a hard days adventuring and near death experiences you may just be lucky enough to be serenaded by a pair of drunken dueling clarinetists. We can only hope.


North Korea: I am completely serious...for once. Too much to say. Too little time. Stay tuned.


PIFF: The Pusan international film festival. International film festival- nuff said. No? Hmm...

Pusan- quaint/hip seaside port city on the eastern coast.
International - this festival reps films from 60 countries including under appreciated sources of cinematic genius such as Mongolia and Kazakhstan.
Film- yes.
Festival- *see mudfest

Surprisingly for a film festival attending PIFF is remarkably affordable as most tickets will only run you 5000 won ($5). Most of your $ will be spent on transportation and that depends on whether you take the lightening fast KTX or age a thousand years on the bus. It's up to you but i recommend getting there early. Get there too late and finding accommodation becomes an odyssey of Homeric proportions if not an episode of amazing race as you literally have to run between hotels/motels before someone else beats you to the punch when they will shut off their lights and shut you out.

If you're lucky (and i'm not being sarcastic this time) the PIFF may coincide with the International Naval Competition and you'll find yourself drowning in a veritable sea of charming seamen. Ladies.

All of the aforementioned potential adventures have been tried and tested by yours truly. Suffice it to say there are many other things one can do and that i have done that have not made it on this list all of which can make your time in Korea memorable and keep you from blogging. Most people do not do all of what i have mentioned nor even half of what i've done in my 6 months spent in korea but when your week and the majority of your energy is consumed by children forced into unceasing education take what free time you have and spend it wisely.
If you wanted to stay home to play starcraft you didn't have to fly across the world to do it.

Stay posted for a list everyday distractions for everyday peoples. Coming to a computer screen near you!

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**Oh, and if it was unclear when i said sanctuary i meant a 4 km (wide) buffer zone dividing the North from the South that protects Korea from itself. Did i forget to mention that it is the most heavily armed border in the world? My bad.