Contrary to what people may say, alcohol does not make your problems disappear.
if anything, it makes them a little more blurry.
i almost finished my bottle of raspberry vodka today, (but the night is still young so who knows, it may still happen.) and yet i have found no solution. no answer...even the questions are hard to grasp.
where do i go from here?
i feel so old and yet so unaccomplished.
i fear it is time to do something drastic, but i don't know what.
drifting between misunderstanding and utter confusion i feel like i've been here before.
i have been here before.
is life an endless circle of moments relived? must disappointments and bitterness be recycled, while we sit watching-
watching others find fulfillment as they bear all the weight of our imagining?
but no matter how hard we try solace cannot be found at the bottom of an empty glass. there are no answers there.
and so i wait, in the safety of familiarity and the constant mind numbing drudgery for something to find me, to force me to be something bigger than myself...
but i cannot wait. something must be done
and so i stand,
screaming into the abyss,
searching for a light,
but... still waiting...
for someone to take my hand.
2 comments:
reading this again. I love you my reen. Today I bought a snickers and a tube of Pringles. Throughout the course of the day I've eaten more of them than I think I ever have before. They're in the cupboard now though. A glass of water is in my hand. It's funny how we go to things we can put down our throats . . .
i'm glad someone loves me. the feeling is mutual my friend. but everyone is dying to know, how do you say "pringles" in korean?
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