Vancouver British Colombia, known as much for granola munching commies as for drugs and homelessness. These two concepts usually produce images that are, for the most part, mutually exclusive. Usually.
Typically when approached by a homeless person they want one of four things:
1) money
2) food
3) smokes
4) money
Typically when they want money they’ll tell you it’s for food.
Typically when they ask for money I buy them food.
Typically when you buy them food they’ll still ask you for money.
At this point I typically walk away.
Setting: the infamously ghetto
Main characters: Toac, Green Mango, Mike the atypical homeless guy
MAHG: excuse me could you guys help me out?
First of all that is such a loaded question, if I’m walking down the street in a leather jacket, slurping an icecap swinging a bag of overpriced souvenirs I can most certainly help you out. If I say no it’s not cause I can’t help you out, it’s because I’m a prick.
MAHG: could you buy me some food to last me a couple of days? Some bread and peanut butter maybe or some raisin bran? They’re my favourite.
What the heck? What’s a couple of bucks? At least I know where it’ll be going.
So off we go to the nearest convenience store with his shopping cart trundling along and a self righteous spring in our step.
But who says self righteousness comes cheap?
What will we be having today sir?
- Dempster’s grade A Canadian whole wheat bread
- Strawberry ensure “for the vitamins”. of course.
- A family pack of Raisin Bran
- 2% milk
“You have a pretty good diet, except for the lack of fruits and vegetables...”
Right!
- however many bananas
- oranges
“what about the peanut butter?”
Right!
- Adam’s all natural overpriced peanut butter. “I prefer the natural kind”. of course.
Snap. In
1 comment:
you are freakin' hilariousssssss!
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