Monday, December 29, 2008

kristmas karols

on the twelfth day of Christmas Korea gave to me
twelve ninja ajummas*
eleven whiny women
ten b-boys dancing
nine black listed hagwons**
eight pickled "vegetables"(?)
seven migrant workers
six shots of soju***
five Russian girls!!!
four penis fish
three love motels
two dongchins****
and one drunken ajushi!!!*****


stay tuned for a rousing rendition of another Christmas classic, "zingle bell-juh"!

--
* women over the age of 4oish who wield mystical elbow throwing powers. they WILL walk through you if you deign to get in their way - hell if you are on the other side of the street they will go out of their way to walk into you and dislocate your shoulder. merry christmas sucka!
** private academies of all flavours (ie. math, science & english-i)
*** korean "whiskey", although it has more in common with LSD than normal alcohol.
**** clasp your two hands together with index and middle finger extended. proceed to shove it up someone's anus. TADA!
***** any man over the age of 37ish. most often found sporting a highly fashionable shiny silver suit, stumbling out of your local hof or taking a nap on the sidewalk in a nest of newspapers. may also be your boss.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh my gosh! haha - I never understood the appeal of dongchins!

And - what the heck is a penis fish?

toac said...

because you asked i've included a link so you can see the little buggers in action.
do you not remember seeing/being served these nasty lil thangs? shoot. they'll keep squirming 45 minutes (if not longer. they were probably still at it long after we left the restaurant) after being gutted, sliced and served as an appetizer.

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