semi-retirement

imaginary obligations.
they're the worst
i don't like writing anymore.
so,
i think i'll stop.
phase one complete.
time to find a new hobby.
taxidermy. time travel.
whatever,
it's time to go outside.

it's not a haiku.

one million things

...give or take.

things to do in the philippines

Cebu:
-learn about history
-break your heart
-cry over poverty
-give away mangoes
-make new friends

Bantayan:
-finally eat good food
-steal a motorbike ride
-make new friends
-steal a tricycle
-despise colonial attitudes
-feel rich. feel sad
-learn to ride a motorbike
-motorbike round island
-night swim
-fend off advances of a 17 year old boy
-acquire adoring band of street kids/tricycle drivers
-acquire female entourage
-try to steal adorable kids. opt instead for a game of Frisbee on the beach
-get stung by a jellyfish
-get an infection. name it ricky
-dance with a midget and lady boys in the moonlight
-wander aimlessly in the bush for hours in search of paradise armed with a gun and mini-machete.
- leave paradise.

Manila (the sequel)
- try to take a: tricycle, jeepney, taxi, bus. any freakin' thing to get to international departures! generally fail
- try to take refuge from a typhoon. fail
- drown
- be hungry
- stay hungry
- be wet
- stay wet
- be helped by the locals
- be scammed by the locals
- be locked out of the airport for 5 hours cold, wet and hungry
- wonder what the hell you've gotten yourself into

things to do: in the philippines

Manila and surrounding area:

- sweat
- drown
- take refuge from the rain
- make new friends
- be hungry
- eat meat flavoured fat
- stay hungry
- take a: tricycle, jeepney, taxi and habal habal
- risk your life on a: tricycle, jeepney, taxi and habal habal
- try to go to Mall of Asia-- fail
- leave fake poop around not-Mall of Asia. fool cleaning staff
- be helped by the locals
- be scammed by the locals
- see Tal volcano through the mist and despite the rain
- destroy shoes, feet and therefore nose
- hang with tribesman of the Southern islands
- walk down, up, down and up the rice terraces of Batad
- almost die
- see waterfall. walk back up, down, up - deliver own last rites
- triumph over adversity
- crash a party
- dance with dignitaries
- eat a ducks face
- gag

night swim

Characters: two unassuming tourists played by Toac (purple), Charles (orange); two over eager local boys, Eljay (blue) and Berne (green); and the harbinger of death
Setting: a not so secluded beach. 12 am. Bantayan, Philippines.

(click to enlarge)