for the love of...!!

i don't know when it is that i got in the business of taking requests but to appease all of you millions of readers who are so keen to meet vlad before i throw his prickly behind on the galbi grill here's what the hedgehog "looks" like

and this is what he ACTUALLY looks like seen through those nifty hellboy troll finding goggles.


--

demon drawing courtesy of BedIam

how to catch a hedgehog in 3 easy steps...

and other options

hedgehogs are wily creatures it is important never to underestimate them. if you choose not to heed my advice it is at your own peril.

step one: find the damn thing
step two: corral said hedgehog with whatever is at hand- provided it is impervious to sharp poison tipped needles. *
step three: slowly reduce the size of your corral until the hedgehog of the apocalypse has safely walked into whatever temporary pen you wish to stick it in before returning it to the pet store.

now if you want to get creative, you can try any of of the following ideas.

when in korea...

the fool proof korean method for subdoing higher order lifeforms


i hear kryptonite works wonders on subduing these little buggers.
after 9 they sell it 1/2 price at homever so stock up.

if alien rocks don't work try some alien technology. apparently area 51 has
some freeze rays lying around, i'm sure they won't notice if a few go missing.

disguise yourself as a tuna and let the little bastard come to you.

if all else fails squish him with an anvil

whatever method you choose just remember never show fear and NEVER turn your back on a hedgie.

*if your hedgie is anything like vlad he will dip his quills in poison just to spite you

karma

has anyone seen a hedgehog?

he's smallish with white and black prickles.
he has a pink underbelly and a black nose.
he is very skittish and does not play well with others.
he answers to the name vlad the impaler.
he is also a highly skilled escape artist.


i rescued an abandoned hedgehog from a nearby pet store.

he was in a paper bag on a shelf under the cat food looking more than a little miserable-
well at least i think that's what misery looks like on a hedgehog.
they offered it to me for free when i was inquiring about rabbit food.
i clearly did not think it through.

i brought it home, fed it, named it, gave it a new homey box to chill in and how does he repay me?
the little bastard escaped last night and is now leaving little turd trails around my apartment.

he's not in the bathroom. he's not under the bed, or the couch. he's not behind any of my other standing furniture. he's not on the shelf...

if you happen to find him please put him in a paper bag and drop him off at your nearest pet shop.

WANTED
Dead or Alive

The toilet paper roll bandit

REWARD
how does a dead hedgehog sound?