Being the astute and slightly less than genius person that i am, during my time spent in the C dot (Chicoutimi) i have unearthed a fiendishly brilliant plan devised by les Quebecois to take over the world. that's right Pinky, after centuries of subjugation the French have developed a plan that would make Bouchard spin in his grave!1
Brilliant in it's simplicity Anglos are powerless to stop it.
NOURRIR ET VAINCRE: un bref résumé par TOAC le incomparable
step 1: lure the unsuspecting anglos to quaint little back water towns under the guise of a linguistic olive branch. then while their minds are preoccupied with trying to conjugate the endless list of french verbs STRIKE. not with guns and missles. no that is much too anglo.
the French will kill you with food my friend.
step 2: they start small. Nothing new there, it's an age old trick that even Hitler used. start with something insignificant and no one will notice. you won't even know what hit you 2 . le Quebecois have this down to an art.
juste viande et potate s'il vous plait
meat and potatoes? the french are gonna take over the world with meat and potatoes?!
ouais!
meat, potatoes... and beer, but that's another blog
TOAC shut yo mouth. c'est impossible! you can't take over a country, let alone the world with meat and potatoes!
sure you can.
just look at the southern united states. they've stuffed their people so full of meat and potates that they couldn't waddle away fast enough to save their inflated behinds.
Admittedly, one serving of potatoes and meat-smoked or otherwise- won't kill you, but this is where the brilliance lies. with a simple "do you want some more" they have established the footing for their devious plan.
step 3: after a few servings of souper they'll plop a slab of gâteau in front of you that is so big you won't see them winding up to make the next blow.
step 4: Lethargic and standing at the precipice of obesity you won't be fast enough to avoid the vole au vont, they'll most certainly throw at you next. and not just one, but two, two vol au vont. HA HA HA!3
step 5: As you stumble out of the smoke and meat (or smoked meat) filled trenches waving your white flag of surrender4, they will give you germ de blé as a healthy peace offering.
but don't fall for it people. the germ de blé is the final step in their fiendish scheme;
one spoon full of germ de blé will blow the seat off your pants and take all that beer soaked meat with it.
so there you have it folks, though it is a deceptively simple plan, it is without question the way the french will take over the world; by blowing up one colon at a time.
tricksty buggers
FIN
1.i know Bouchard isn't dead yet but it's only a matter of time before Harper has him killed
2. mainly because you won't be able to understand when they tell you le nom de plat.
3.for you unfamilliar with vol-au-vont, it's little pieces of meat (of any persuasion) in a cream sauce poured on top of a cute flaky pastry. think flaky meat grenade of death.
4. which you'll most certainly do, trust me, i was there for 5 weeks
